Friendship and Family

DeenaPicWhat does friendship mean to you? Think about it. Are you a good friend? Do you have good friends? You have to be one to have one.

To me, friendship isn’t about how much you do for somebody or giving them items or gifts, or any material things. It’s about having a genuine respect and appreciation for another human being and that respect and appreciation being reciprocated for what each person is. Liking and loving them because of, as well as in spite of. In spite of because…. nobody is 100% perfect 100% of the time. It certainly helps to aim high and aim for that 100%. You must aim for 100% if you intend to evolve and grow as a person.

True friendship means working with each other and even lending each other a helping hand along the path and being there for them when they need it. It is important as a friend to let them know if they’ve done something that isn’t right. They might be overwhelmed and may not realize.  You hinder their growth if you don’t let them know. That’s lending them a helping hand if it’s done tactfully and with good intentions. Helping them see and understand where they fell short without judging them. Not being prejudice against them for things that likely we ourselves are guilty of or have been at some point. 

Forgiving them their trespasses, even if/when they don’t apologize. Keep in mind though that forgiveness is granted, isn’t and doesn’t necessarily mean that they did no wrong, it just means that we understand they are human and as with everyone else on planet earth, we all fall short of perfection.

Friendship doesn’t mean it’s okay to take advantage or disrespect. It is however okay now and then to allow yourself to be taken for granted once in awhile as long as it isn’t all the time. That may be hard for some people to swallow. What that means is that the person who may be taking you for granted, trusts your friendship enough for it to be okay that they busy themselves with other things they need and that they don’t worry you will pull friendship away. Sometimes it means that they don’t feel as though they need to “work” to maintain friendship. True friendship doesn’t just go away because one or both of you are busy or preoccupied.

Regarding the occasional absence of friends or family, for me if a person is truly my friend…..Go be busy, come back later and if you’ve been good to me, respected me, appreciated me, done your best to “roll correct” despite any temporary failures, been there for us to lift each other back up when one of us fell on our face and not judge the other, accepted our own lack of perfection and it’s impact, I will still be here to be your friend. I can only wish for the same. I trust true friendship enough to not worry about it being pulled away from me because I have other things going on in my life, like Holidays.

Understand that taking somebody for granted is duel thing. It can hurt a bit and for that reason it isn’t good, but it can mean something positive. A true friend will realize the hurtful part of taking somebody for granted like that and won’t make a habit of it. Just reach out once in awhile and let ME know that YOU are also still my friend and I will do the same. That is all I ask. We should take from that, that our friendship is trusted and let that be a positive take away as we come into the Holiday season.  We all get busy.


~ by Deena Kay on 11/01/2009.

4 Responses to “Friendship and Family”

  1. So true. Like an intimate relationship, friendship also needs to be effortless in substance. There needs to be a freedom of communication that goes beyond words – thus having the flexibility to stay in contact not only physically and intellectually, but spiritually. Everyone needs connection through this portal.

    Love your stuff

    • Thanks! I was thinking about adding a category and callingit “fiction”. I so enjoy writing. I never posted any of it tho. I just pretty much sent it all off to my family and would on occation, get replies back like “Uh, yeah, you alright?” haha This is such a great medium! 🙂

      • I would like to read some of your creative writing. Might I suggest you check out She will sometimes post fiction although I am not so sure how fictional it is at times since she seems to be a wandering soul that can make your heart ache. I am sure there is more non-fiction in her writing than not. Warning that it can be very dark and soul-wrenching.

        Regardless, you seem like someone with a story to tell. I will speak for your readers and assure you that it would be enthusiastically read.

      • Very cool thanks! I will give it a read. One thing that has been in the back of my head for many years is based on a kid who has asbergers and they thought it was ADD, ADHD, or any array of different things. He was a really neet kid! I’m sure he still is, I just haven’t seen him in years 🙂

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